Run For Your Wife (review)

Anyone who has seen the news about Ray Cooney's return to the cinema (his first big screen writing/directing effort since Not Now Comrade in 1976), will know that Run For Wife has hardly broken the box office, and that it has only received a limited screening since its release.

I paid £3 for my 'Silver Screening' ticket & got free coffee and a biscuit included so the cinemas are hardly going to rake it in at this rate!

I'll start by being reasonably fair. The audience I saw the film with enjoyed it, and there were many laughs, gaffaws and an "Oooh" when the late Richard Briers appeared on screen.

However, as anyone would have guessed, the only real pleasure to be gained from Run For Your Wife is the cameo spotting. It's a shame then that too many of these appearances are so fleeting that you will need to watch the film on DVD so that you can pause and rewind it - For example, I saw Katy Manning's name at the end but didn't spot her face in the film.

Christopher Biggins has the best screen presence here, but needs more decent lines.

And there lies the major problem: the actors who really can do comedy don't actually get the opportunity. They're relegated to the role of 'extras' whilst the main parts are given to Danny Dyer and Denise Van Outen who are neither funny nor sympathetic.

Outen delivers the films worst line: "Did you tell that reporter I'd got sexually transmitted spots?! Grrrr you silly sod!!"

As for Dyer, let's say I did not relish the big close-ups of his doughy face with its puffy, unfocused eyes. (At first I thought this was because his character had received a knock to the head - which is the opening gambit of the plot - but, alas this appeared to be his permanent demeanour.

There is one of those credit-sequences at the end that rerun the whole film again in a potted version. It was only here that I noticed Geoffrey Palmer and I think Wanda Ventham (I may be mistaken about the latter).

There was also a post-credit scene, but the projectionist had already turned the house lights up!

When it finally ended some old dear at the back muttered "Has it done now?!"

Pic: Danny Dyer trying to hide the script...

A Fit of the Giggles with Richard III

When I was a kid I got told off for having an uncontrollable fit of the giggles at the Battlefield Visitor Centre, near Bosworth, Leicestershire.

The reason for my mirth was the nightmare scene as enacted by Laurence Olivier in his version of Richard III (1955), which used to be screened in a truncated version in a cinema room at the museum.

In John Ashdown-Hill's book The Last Days of Richard III, he gives an account of the King's last night before battle, and questions the authenticity of reports from the Crowland Chronicle (1486) and Polydore Vergil (early 16th century).

From Vergil:

"yt ys reported that king Rycherd had that night a terrible dreame; for he thowght in his slepe that he saw horrible ymages as yt wer of evell spyrytes haunting evidently abowt him, as yt wer before his eyes, and that they wold not let him rest..." (Quoted in Ashdown-Hill, 2011 , page 71).

Ashdown-Hill argues that this uncomfortable nights sleep could have been the result of a number of things including spending the night in an unfamiliar camp bed, and an attack of the sweating sickness.

Whatever the reason, in his film, Olivier does his utmost to ham his interpretation of the night of 21-22 August 1485 to the nth degree as he tosses and turns in his bed.

Judging by Ashdown-Hill's book, King Dick was not the evil caricature of Shakespeare's play, and as a result, Olivier's smoky bacon-flavoured performance seems even more incongruous.

Looking back 30 years to my giggle-fit at Bosworth I reckon my instincts were right!

Further reading: John Ashdown-Hill, 2011, The Last Days of Richard III, The History Press.

GEW GAWS - SOME THOUGHTS ON SOUVENIR TAT

Stanley Holloway's factory in The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)

In The Lavender Hill Mob (1951) Stanley Holloway's souvenir factory is simply called 'GEWGAWS ltd'. The title is a knowing nod to mass - produced tat such as the small scale imitations of Anne Hathaways Cottage and Southend Pier that he shows to Alec Guinness' character. His model of the  Eiffel Tower is, of course, the most memorable of these as they play a crucial part in the narrative when the casts are used to disguise the gold bullion that Holloway,  Guinness, Alfie Bass and Sid James steal from Guinness' bank.

As Holloway's character says, "My business occupation is something unspeakably hideous. I'm in the 'presents from' trade. You know, present from Brighton, souvenir from Tunbridge Wells..."

"I propagate British cultural depravity"

This culturally elitist tone echoes that of Richard Hoggart in The Uses of Literacy (first published in 1957), who mentions Gew-Gaws as a typical artefact of working class life. 

Most working class families would commemorate their holiday by purchasing small ornaments and trinkets emblazoned with the name of the resort either as a souvenir for themselves or as a gift for friends or relatives back home, and where's the harm in that? If a small ornament can trigger happy memories for 51 weeks of the year (until the next holiday), so be it.

Take for example Devon Blue Ware, manufactured by Foster's Studio Pottery in the West Country. This has got to be the plainest style of ornament or functional souvenir pottery imaginable. 

I'm unsure of the time period when this pottery was produced, but in its time, the factory had clearly cottoned on to a winner: produce pots of differing shapes, sizes and uses; dip them all in the same distinctive blue glaze, then scratch in the name of a seemingly endless list of seaside resorts, picturesque villages or visitor attractions.

The pots are like a blank page... Even with their legends carved on. Holidaymakers can project their memories of the holiday onto these objects that need no elaborate illustrations or decorations. The blue glaze is 'the blue of Devon' (presumably the sea and sky on a clear, sunny day). But the colour of the glaze is the same no matter the name of the resort on the pot.

Here are a few examples...

A 'Land's End' beaker. The jagged line struck through the text probably mimics the division between land and sea.

A boot with 'Cromer' on it. Why a boot? What does this North Norfolk seaside town have to do with the shoemaking industry?

'Good luck from Flamborough Head' on a miniature tankard. I wonder if 'Good Luck from Beachy Head' would be deemed inappropriate?

A condiment bottle from Gretna Green perhaps hinting at a relationship that will turn to vinegar?

There's something strangely calming and charming about these pots, but to others, these souvenirs are seen as tat. You'll find them going for pennies in charity shops if they've not yet made it to landfill. But what of the seaside souvenir today? In my opinion there's tat and then there's tat! A glance in most souvenir shops now will reveal nasty dust-gathering polyresin ornaments (anything from Highland terriers to fairies) or signs with phrases like 'Gone to the beach' painted on them - possibly by someone on a minuscule wage in the Far East who won't understand the joke - much less what the idea of a holiday is.

THE NORFOLK MURALS OF JOHN MORAY-SMITH

After a visit to Cromer Museum earlier this year to see the John Moray-Smith seaside mural (detail above), a subsequent Twitter conversation with the museum prompted me to look for some of Moray-Smith’s other murals around Norwich.

Moray-Smith was an Italian traveller who married a Norwich woman, Katrina Moray-Smith and took her name, after coming to England as a prisoner in the First World War. He worked for Watney-Mann’s Norwich Brewery in the 1940s and 1950’s.

Cromer Museum houses three of Moray-Smith’s plaster relief artworks from 1951 including a portrait of the famous Lifeboat coxwain Henry Blogg, a mural of a 19^th century lifeboat launch, and the aforementioned beachscape. The two murals were taken from the Ship Hotel in Church Street, Cromer, which closed in 1984.

Detail from Cromer seaside mural

Henry Blogg

I’ve only included some small details of the seaside mural here, as I recommended you to visit the museum itself to fully appreciate the scale and quality of the work.

Three of Moray-Smith’s artworks can be found at pubs in the centre of Norwich, which I visited this summer. 

The Coachmaker's Arms

The Coachmaker’s Arms, St. Stephen’s Road, NR1 3SP, has a representation of St. Stephen’s Gate and dates from 1937.

The Berstrete Gates

The Berstrete Gates, Ber Street, NR1 3EN, similarly shows a picture (1937) of some long-gone city gates from Norwich’s city walls.

Grazing sheep in The Woolpack

The Woolpack in Golden Ball Street, NR1 3EH, houses the most impressive collection of Moray-Smith plaques (from 1938). There were originally six pictures illustrating different aspects of the wool trade from sheep grazing, to shearing, market trading and export, five of which can be found in the pub today. Go and have a look at them whilst supping some local Woodforde's beer.







I later returned to Norwich and went to look for the mural at the Prince of Denmark, Denmark Road, NR3 4JQ. The size of this mural presents an impressive figure which can be seen easily from across the road and from the path outside the pub. 

I also went to see the Norwich Panorama which is displayed at The Maid's Head Hotel, Tombland. It truly is a stunning piece of artwork and a great tribute to a fine city!

Information taken from Cromer Museum and the Norwich Society.

The Queer Postcards of Donald McGill

In his well-known essay on the comic postcard, Orwell highlights a number of recurrent themes which McGill’s cards are reliant upon, namely: sex, home life, drunkenness, W. C. jokes, inter-working class snobbery, stock figures, and politics. Obscenity plays a large part in the humour of these cards, in the double entendres of the written text and in the visualisation of voluptuous women with ‘grossly over-emphasised’ breasts and buttocks, which he claims, are ‘caricatures of the Englishman’s secret ideal’ (Orwell, 2000: 198).

However, the McGill postcard museum at Ryde on the Isle of Wight reveals another theme that Orwell’s essay chooses not to highlight: homosexual stereotyping and androgyny. The short crop hairstyles of 1920s/’30s women and dandification of men, and the subsequent blurring of genders appears to have prompted most of these comic images.

Here are a few amusing examples...

Masculine women and feminine men

Seaside peepers take a closer look...

A woman golfer puts the men's noses out of joint

A postcard from the daring resort of Great Yarmouth!



The dandy



Link to the McGill postcard museum

Further reading: Orwell, George, 2000, Essays, London: Penguin

The Film Star Dolls of Vina Cooke

Note: Sadly, since I posted this blog in Spring 2012 the doll museum has closed and the premises are for sale. If I find out any more details about what has happened to Vina's collection, I'll post it here.

In a quiet corner of Nottinghamshire you'll find an almost-secret treasure. This is the Vina Cooke Museum of Dolls in the village of Cromwell... A staggering collection of dolls, dolls houses, and antique fashions housed in a grand Georgian house. Vina and her husband have spent several decades putting this collection together. Some might call it an exercise in British eccentricity, others will call it a labour of love.

The most interesting items are the pieces created by Vina herself. These aren't dolls per se, but reproductions of historical figures and film stars dressed in fantastic miniature costumes. Henry VIII and his wives, and Dame Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev are some examples. 

Dorothy, Tin Man and Scarecrow modelled from The Wizard of Oz (1939)

The Cowardly Lion looks just like Bert Lahr!

 Film buffs however, will be drawn to the display cabinets housing Hollywood stars in authentic reproductions of costumes by the likes of Irene Sharaff (Liz Taylor in The Taming Of The Shrew 1967) and Cecil Beaton (Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady 1964). Cooke is particularly good at painting eyes - Bert Lahr is very accurate! - and  the way she has captured the movement of Brigitte Bardot dancing is also very good. 

Elizabeth Taylor in The Taming of the Shrew (1967)

A selection of film star dolls can be found in this room including Brigitte Bardot and Yul Brynner.

Cromwell is a short drive or bus ride away from Newark, so I recommend a quick excursion to see the dolls if you are in the area, but phone first to check for opening times. There's also a doll repair service available if diddum's is falling apart!

Tel: UK 01636 821364 

British Pathe film of Vina and her film star dolls

 

http://www.aboutbritain.com/VinaCookeMuseumOfDolls.htm
 
http://www.vinasdolls.co.uk/

HOLIDAY FILMOGRAPHY PART 7 (1969 - 2011)

Charles Hawtrey, Betty Marsden and Terry Scott in Carry On Camping (1969)

1969:

Carry On Camping, Adder (RFD). Produced by Peter Rogers, Directed by Gerald Thomas. Cast: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Hattie Jacques, Barbara Windsor. Comedy. Devon. Camping holiday.

What’s Good For The Goose, Tigon. Directed by Menahem Golan. Cast: Norman Wisdom, Sally Geeson. Comedy. Assistant bank manager falls for amorous teenager during seaside conference.

All At Sea, Anvil (CFF). Directed by Ken Fairbairn. Cast: Gary Smith, Steven Mallett, Stephen Childs, Norman Bird. Children. Boys on holiday cruise catch painting thief in Tangier.

1970:

And Soon The Darkness, ABPC (WPD). Directed by Robert Fuest. Cast: Pamela Franklin, Michelle Dotrice. Crime. France. Nurses on cycling holiday in France become involved with sexual murderer.

Pamela Franklin and Michele Dotrice in And Soon The Darkness (1970)

1971:

Carry On At Your Convenience, Peter Rogers Productions (RFD). Directed by Gerald Thomas. Cast: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims. Comedy. Brighton sequence.

1972:

Carry On Abroad, Peter Rogers Productions (Fox-Rank). Directed by Gerald Thomas. Cast: Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Barbara Windsor, Joan Sims, Hattie Jacques. Comedy. Package holiday to Mediterranean island.

1973:

The Best Pair Of Legs In The Business, Sunny/Anglo-EMI (MGM-EMI). Directed by Christopher Hodson. Cast: Reg Varney, Diana Coupland, Lee Montague. Comedy. Holiday camp comedian discovers his wife is having an affair with the owner.

That’ll Be The Day, Goodtimes/Anglo-EMI (MGM-EMI). Directed by Claude Whatham. Cast: David Essex, Ringo Starr. Musical. Seaside and holiday camp scenes.

The Sea Children, Pan (CFF). Directed by David Andrews. Cast: Earl Younger, Lesley Dunlop. Children. Malta. Holiday children discover strange world beneath sea.

Summer Holiday, Pacesetter. (CFF). Directed by Philip Leacock. Cast: Ivor Bowyer, Jill Gibbs. Children. Adventures on a school holiday.

Carry On Girls, Peter Rogers Productions (Fox-Rank). Directed by Gerald Thomas. Cast: Sidney James, Joan Sims, Barbara Windsor. Comedy. Brighton. Women’s Lib group tries to foil bathing beauty contest.

The dance class in Holiday On The Buses (1973)

Holiday On The Buses, Hammer (MGM-EMI). Directed by Bryan Izzard. Cast: Reg Varney, Bob Grant, Doris Hare, Wilfred Brambell. Comedy. Wales. Pontin’s at Prestatyn.

1974:

Swallows And Amazons, Theatre Projects (EMI). Directed by Claude Whatham. Cast: Virginia McKenna, Ronald Fraser. Children. 1929. Children on holiday in the Lake District play pirates.

1975:

Tommy, Stigwood (Hemdale). Directed by Ken Russell. Cast: Ann-Margret, Oliver Reed. Musical. Holiday camp sequence.

Carry On Behind, Peter Rogers Productions (Fox-Rank). Directed by Gerald Thomas. Cast: Elke Sommer, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Jack Douglas, Windsor Davies. Comedy. Caravan park. Archaeologists cause trouble with their excavations behind a holiday camp.

1976:

The Likely Lads, Anglo-EMI. Directed by Michael Tuchner. Cast: Rodney Bewes, James Bolam, Brigit Forsyth. Comedy. Includes caravan holiday.

1977:

Are You Being Served? Anglo-EMI. Directed by Bob Kellett. Cast: John Inman, Mollie Sugden, Frank Thornton. Comedy. Department store personnel take a holiday in Spain.

Grace Bros. staff take off for Spain in Are You Being Served? (1977)

Confessions From A Holiday Camp, Swiftdown (Col). Directed by Norman Cohen. Cast: Robin Askwith, Anthony Booth, Doris Hare. Sex. Entertainment officer’s exploits at a holiday camp run by ex-prison officer.

1979:

That Summer, Film In General (Col). Directed by Harley Cockliss. Cast: Ray Winstone, Tony London. Drama. Torquay. Ex-Borstal boy enters swimming contest and is framed for burglary by Glasgow youths.

1980:

The Great British Striptease, Amaranth (Target). Directed by Doug Smith. Cast: Bernard Manning, Su Pollard. Sex. Blackpool. Sixteen women compete for £500 prize for best striptease act.

1985:

She’ll Be Wearing Pink Pyjamas, (Pink Pyjama Productions/Film Four (Virgin). Directed by john Goldschmidt. Cast: Julie Walters, Anthony Higgins. Comedy. Lake District. Assorted women on an Outward Bound course.

1987:

Wish You Were Here, Zenith/Working Title/Film Four (Palace). Directed by David Leland. Cast: Emily Lloyd, Tom Bell, Jesse Birdsall. Sex. Worthing, 1951.

1988:

A Summer Story, ITC (Warner). Directed by Piers Haggard. Cast: Imogen Stubbs, James Wilby. Romance. Dartmoor. Holidaymaker recalls his youthful affair with farmer’s niece.

1989:

Shirley Valentine, Gilbert/Russell/Paramount (UIP). Directed by Lewis Gilbert Screenplay (Play) Willy Russell. Cast: Pauline Collins, Tom Conti. Housewife flies to Greece for sexual adventure.

Tom Conti and Pauline Collins in Shirley Valentine (1989)

1992:

Blame It On The Bellboy, Bellboy/Hollywood (Warner). Directed by Mark Herman.  Cast: Dudley Moore, Richard Griffiths, Patsy Kensit. Comedy. Venice.

Dirty Weekend, Scimitar (UIP). Directed by Michael Winner. Cast: Lia Williams, Rufus Sewell. Sex. Brighton.

1993:

Bhaji On The Beach, Umbi/Channel 4 (First Independent). Directed by Gurinder Chadha. Cast: Kim Vithana, Jimmy Harkishin, Lalita Ahmed, Shaheen Khan, Zohra Segal. Drama. Birmingham women take a day trip to Blackpool.

1996:

Small Time, Big Arty Productions/BFI. Directed by Shane Meadows. Cast: Mat Hand, Dena Smiles, Shane Meadows. Drama. Includes trip to Skegness.

Gallivant, Tall Stories/BFI/Channel 4/Arts Council of England. Directed by Andrew Kotting. Cast: Gladys Morris, Eden Kotting, Andrew Kotting. Travelogue. Semi-documentary journey taken by a family around the coastline of Britain.

1999:

Hotel Splendide, Filmfour/Toc Films/Renegade Films. Directed by Terence Gross. Cast: Toni Collette, Daniel Craig, Katrin Cartlidge. Drama. Crumbling spa hotel peopled by eccentrics.

Guest House Paradiso, Universal/House Films/Vision Video. Directed by Adrian Edmondson. Cast: Rik Mayall, Adrian Edmondson, Vincent Cassel, Bill Nighy, Fenella Fielding. Comedy. Voyeurs run seaside guest house adjacent to nuclear power station.

Paddy Considine dancing at Chapel St Leonards in A Room For Romeo Brass (1999)

A Room For Romeo Brass, Alliance Atlantis/BBC Films/Arts Council of England/Company Pictures/Big Arty Productions. Directed by Shane meadows. Cast: Andrew Shim, Ben Marshall, Paddy Considine. Drama. Includes day trip to Chapel St Leonards.

2000:

Last Resort, BBC Films. Directed by Pawel Pawlikowski. Cast: Dina Korzun, Paddy Considine, Artiom Strelnikov, Lindsey Honey. Drama. Margate. Muscovite asylum seekers are held at seaside resort.

Dina Korzun at the Dreamland Amusement Park, Margate, in Last Resort (2000)

Some Voices, Filmfour/British Screen/Dragon Pictures. Directed by Simon Cellan Jones. Cast: Daniel Craig, David Morrissey, Kelly MacDonald. Drama. Includes seaside excursion to Hastings.

Kevin and Perry Go Large, Icon/Tiger Aspect Pictures/Fragile Films. Directed by Ed Bye. Cast: Harry Enfield, Kathy Burke, Rhys Ifans. Comedy. Teenage boys become star DJs and lose virginity on holiday in Ibiza.

2001:

The Martins, Icon Entertainment International/Tiger Aspect Pictures/Icon Productions/Isle of Man Film Commission. Directed by Tony Grounds. Cast: Lee Evans, Kathy Burke. Comedy. Man robs wealthy couple of holiday tickets and takes his family to the Isle of Man.

Arthur’s Dyke, Evolution Films/Quirky Films. Directed by Gerry Poulson. Cast: Pauline Quirke, Brian Conley, Dennis Waterman. Comedy. Walking holiday on English-Welsh border.

2006:

London To Brighton, LTB Films/UK Film Council/Steel Mill Pictures/Wellington Films. Directed by Paul Andrew Williams. Cast: Lorraine Stanley, Johnny Harris, Georgia Groome. Drama. Prostitute and child flee to Brighton to escape gangster.

Venus, Channel 4/UK Film Council/Venus Pictures/Free range Films. Directed by Roger Mitchell. Cast: Peter O’Toole, Jodie Whittaker. Drama. Includes journey to Whitstable beach.

2008:

Somers Town, Tomboy Films/Mother Vision/Big Arty Productions. Directed by Shane Meadows. Cast: Thomas Turgoose, Piotr Jagiello. Drama. Two boys dream of holiday to Paris on Eurostar.

2010:

Brighton Rock, BBC Films, Kudos Film and Television. Directed by Rowan Joffe. Cast: Helen Mirren, John Hurt. Crime. Brighton, 1964. (Filmed at Brighton and Eastbourne).

Never Let Me Go, Film 4, DNA Films. Directed by Mark Romanek. Cast: Keira Knightly. Drama. Includes seaside scenes at Clevedon and Holkham Beach.

2011:

The Inbetweeners Movie, Film 4/Young Bwark. Directed by Ben Palmer. Cast: Simon Bird, James Buckley, Blake Harrison, Joe Thomas. Comedy. Group of youths on sexual adventure to Crete.

The Inbetweeners Movie (2011)

Bibliography:

Gifford, (2001), Catalogue of British Film

BFI Database

IMDb